Here I go again

Well, along with thousands of others this time of year, I am on a mission to lose more weight. Many people choose to do this as a new year's resolution. My decision is just continued on since August...and it just happens that the timing to start round 2 fell at this time. So I join many of you...or should I say that you are joining me. Welcome to the weight-loss, let's get healthier in the new year journey.
Today was the start of eating only a small amount. No sugar, no carbs, no fat. Really there is only a small variety of foods that I am allowed to eat. On the menu today:
two cups of coffee (minus the foo-foo)
lunch- 100grams of lean grilled steak, asparagus, baked cinnamon apple and a grissini breadstick
dinner- 100grams of grilled chicken, cooked spinach, grissini breadstick and all natural, no sugar added applesauce.

So far so good. I have made it thru most of day 1 and feeling positive and excited to be 30 pounds lighter by my birthday in February. It is New Year's Eve, and while most people are snacking on all sorts of food, maybe having a few drinks, etc. my eyes are set on the future and being healthier than I have ever been.

A week ago I decided to take a trip to Kohls to try on jeans and was able to fit into a size of jeans that I have not been in since high school...maybe even jr. high. They were a bit snug, but my goal is to have THOSE jeans be too big!

So, Happy New Year to you all! I pray for great health in 2011 for all!

Down a new path

In the last week of August, I began a new "food" journey. I started a new "diet" although it is not really a diet. When I decided that I wanted to try it out, I thought 45 days sounded like such a long time to be eating very little food, and the thought of losing 20-30 pounds was just a dream. It is now October. I am now 25 pounds lighter, 2 jean sizes smaller and feeling great!

It's been an adventure though and not always easy. Learning to eat what was on the "menu" was very difficult because there wasn't much to choose from. (although sometimes this made it easier...if in doubt, eat chicken) Wow, I could be one of those cows from the Chick Fil A commercials!

Now that I am 25 pounds lighter, that means that most of my clothes in my closet don't quite fit like they used to. Most of them hang on me and make me look like I'm wearing a tent. I guess this isn't a bad thing, but when you don't have the money to go buy new clothes, it is. I have bought three new pairs of jeans and a few shirts. (I got excited half way thru my 45 days and went and bought new jeans that were one size smaller than I started with...now THEY are too big. I guess I'll wear a belt...UGH...see below) Some other things that I didn't think of until I lost weight:

my rings don't fit...they are all too loose
my belts...they will all be going in the Goodwill box (I guess I'll add this to my list of "needs")
undergarments...we'll just leave that one alone
coats! UGH...Thank goodness I bought one a few years ago that was a little snug!

It's amazing the things I never thought of before starting this "diet". I still would love to lose more, and plan to re-enter "diet-land" in February. But for now, I will learn new ways of eating, enjoying those foods I enjoy (in moderation) and enjoy being 25 pounds lighter than I was 2 months ago!

I am amazed at how God puts things in your path that help you along the way, even when we have our blinders on and don't even realize what He is doing.

Recently I have had several friends who are dealing with health issues related to food and eating or are really concentrating on getting healthier. If you would have asked me three months ago if I would have the will power to lose 25 pounds in 45 days, by eating healthy, not eating anything with sugar, etc. I would have said you were crazy. I have always wondered how those "health nuts" did it. But with lots of prayer and God's guidance and strength and by Him putting these people in my life who are encouraging me, I did it. It's just made me realize that we all need to take better care of our bodies, the temple of the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body.

Thank you, God, for your almightly strength that you have given me. I never could have done this on my own. Thank you, for putting these friends in my life, at just the right time, to encourage me. Thank you, for a supportive family who cheered me on during this journey. Thank you, for giving me back some of my self confidence that I had lost along the way...or that was hidden, deep inside me. I thank you for loving me, no matter how big or small I am. I thank you, that you will continue to walk beside me thru all my struggles, thru all my joys and sorrows, every day, every hour, ALWAYS!

A new beginning

School has officially started and the kids are all gone during the day. Which leaves me feeling a little lonely and sad. But on the other hand, it gives me some "ME" time. I've always been one that when I hear "ME" time I cringe. I've always felt that if I had "ME" time, it was selfish and I was being lazy (I should be doing laundry, or cleaning, or grocery shopping). Sitting at the table this morning having some quiet time with just my Bible, me, and God made me realize what I've been missing. I opened up my "bible binder" where I keep all my bible study notes, prayers, etc. Looking at my notes, I realized that I hadn't REALLY had GOOD quiet time since fall of last year. This makes me feel sad, but also I feel joy, knowing that God has been waiting for me and hasn't left me, it's me who has turned away, got too busy, and tried to do things on my own.

Since I started back to work last fall, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I got busy. Was stressed and exhausted. Depressed. I just felt "off". As I sit here and ponder this last year, I feel like it's kind of a blur, almost wasted. How do some women work full time and still feel like they can have quality time with their families, do all the "mom" stuff, "wife" stuff and keep their houses some-what clean and organized? And grow their most important relationship-with God?

I am studying the life of Moses right now. It makes me wonder how he didn't just give up and tell God, "you know, Pharaoh isn't listening to me and is never going to let Israel go, I give up!" He is one patient man, but more importantly, he loved and trusted God! Today, God has taught me several thing through Moses. The most important being to trust what God is doing in your life and always listen to what He is doing in you, through you and your circumstances, and through others you are around, and never try to do it your way!

And I remember these words in Lamentations:

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

Thank you, God, for never leaving my side, even when I try to do it on my own, you are there, waiting for me with open, loving arms!

Torn

Recently I have had decisions to make or been in a situation where I see two sides. My most recent "big" decision was to quit working. I was very torn when trying to decide what was best. In the next few weeks all three of my kids will be starting school, all in different schools, all in different parts of town. The days before the first day of school are filled with teacher meetings, orientation, school pictures etc. All of these require me to get my kids to school and back. I wasn't sure how I would do this with me working. Sam will be starting a sport in August and I wasn't quite sure if I'd be around to take him to practices or games since my schedule is always different. Finally I decided that is wasn't fair to me, the kids or my work for me to be asking off so many days, or to be working while I should be "being a mom". So, I am officially done working....for now. Thank you, Jesus, for putting road blocks in my way to help me make the right decision....I was stubborn and not listening, but I finally heard You.

At other times, there really isn't a decision to be made, but you are an outsider looking at a situation, which does affect you or someone you love in some way. Things are happening that are just not fair to you or your loved ones. Some days it really bothers me and makes me feel torn, and some days, I just realize it's life and God is the judge and if they are doing wrong or treating people unfairly, He will take care of it. I can't imagine living life without a Savior. Life is too hard to do alone. Knowing that He walks with me in ALL circumstances, trials and joys, makes me smile and love Him even more.

Romans 12:12 ESV
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

James 1:12 ESV
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

John 16:33 ESV
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Cleaning out

I first began this blog when I had decided to unclutter my house, and my life. Well, that lasted about a month. I eventually started back to work and slowly my house and my life started to get re-cluttered. There are days I wish I lived a simpler life, with less to do. But I don't.

With lots of thought and coaxing from friends and family, I have decided to stop working for a while. I have three kids starting school (all at different schools) in about two weeks and have put off lots of things that I want/need to do just because my schedule just didn't have room in it for these things. From spending more "summer" time with my kids to making doctor appointments that I have been neglecting.

It's funny, when you decide in her mind and your heart that it's time to "de-clutter" all of your life, things just start rolling and the more you realize how much you have in your life that just doesn't need to be there.

Our family had never lived anywhere for more than 4 years for the past 16 years. Which always meant, cleaning out and throwing away things we weren't using when it was time to pack up and move on. We have now lived in the house we are in for almost 6 years. Needless to say, closets are stuffed full of expired meds, ragged towels, etc. Old paper work that we'd been saving needs shredded, carpets need shampooed, dust bunnies are mating under the bed (and you know what they say about bunnies and mating!), and the list goes one!

But what I am slowly learing, is that when your life on the outside is cluttered and "murkey" your mind and body get that way also. I have been neglecting ME! I know, to some this may sound selfish. But God created ME and I haven't been taking care of what He created. I can't even remember the last time I truly relaxed and had time to do some things I enjoy. Sure, I went and scrapbooked with some friends, but the whole time I was watching the clock and having to run here or there in the middle of scrapbooking. I took a trip to Nebraska to visit family, but our days were so full of trying to "fit it all in" that I didn't get to take a breath and just enjoy our time.

So, from this day forward (not sure how long this stint will last) join me on this journey as I clean out the junk in my life!

Keep your hands and feet in at all times and enjoy the ride!

The Color Gray

So, I finally decided to give my boss my two weeks and quit my job for the summer. I went through my whole conversation with her in my head all the way to work. I knew I had three hours after I got to work until she got in. I also knew that today was inventory day, our district manager was going to be there all day and that the day might be too crazy to break the news to her. I was prepared to wait until tomorrow. THEN, I got to work, looked at the schedule for next week and my whole idea of quitting my job changed! I only work 11.5 hours next week. I got to thinking...if she kept my hours close to that, then that would be a little extra income, I'd be able to do the things I want to do this summer and I wouldn't have to quit. UGH. Now I'm back to square one.

Have I mentioned that I hate the color gray. You know, not black and not white, but the color you get when you mix the two...the color in between. Just like making a decion and not having a solid answer as to which way to go. The answer to my decision is...mud!

Summer is in the air

I am enjoying my day off. Probably because I know that I have tomorrow off also. Which is really confirming my thoughts on quiting my job for the summer to be home with my kids. I had so much on my list of to-dos for the day. We had a little bit of a detour getting to the grocery store though. How could I say no to friends asking me to hang out at the outlet mall with them. (and hold and snuggle Soli, my 11 month old friend, while doing this!) The weather is great, the company was even greater and now home to finish cleaning the house. Then off to Chick Fil A to support my teen friends going to Germany and then off to the ball field to watch the bestest church team ever play some softball! Some times you have to really search for God's answers, and sometimes He lays them at your feet. Love Him so!

WoRk

Not exactly sure how I feel about this word. Is it a bad word? Some days, yes! Is it something I enjoy? Most days, yes. Is it something God threw at me in Novemeber and I didn't realize what a blessing it would become in the months to follow? Absolutely. So now as I type, I'm trying to make the decision to continue working or to spend my summer being at home with my three amazing kids. I hate big decisions like this. I know that it would really help us get caught back up on things since Jason was out of a job for many months. It would also supply extra income for our sons to be able to play football like they've been wanting to do and our daughter to go to California this summer and have a little extra vacation money. And for my friend and I to take the road trip that we want to take in July.

I hate hard decisions. I've been that way since I was little. If you ask my mom, she would agree whole-heartedly. From the time I was little I had a hard time deciding which color shirt to buy, or what to order at a restaraunt, etc.

I'm a grown-up now. I have to make grown-up decisions. Like whether it's best to work and make some extra income or to be home for my kids. Do I really have to grow up?

God's Judgement

I know, I have talked about this before. I guess you could say, I am very passionate about this topic. I just finished reading Romans 2 (God's Righteous Judgement)

This past week and this coming week, some friends of ours are going thru a really tough time, watching as their son is in court for some legal trouble he got into. As I sat in the courtroom and wondered what the jury would come back with, I thought a lot about God's judgement. After all, that is all that matters in the end.

Then last night I spoke with some other friends who were thinking of getting a tattoo but were worried about being judged by people in our church.

I even dealt with this subject about a month ago when my 14 year old daughter asked if she could get her nose pierced. I personally think it's adorable and wanted to immediately say "YES". But then all these thoughts came into my head about what people would think, not necessarily of her for having it, but about me for allowing this. I got angry. And even started to argue with those people in my head. Then, I said, "YES" and we went. As I study the scriptures on tattoos and piercings I see both sides.

One question: Do you have your ears pierced? Where does it say that it's okay to pierce your ears and not your nose? Where does it say it's okay for a female to pierce their ears and not a male?

I am just as guilty as the next person. I find myself judging others for the way they act, dress, speak, etc. But the question we need to ask ourselves is, "is it a biblical reason we are choosing to judge,(although in Romans 2 and other places in the bible it says that God is our judge, not man) or is it a personal preference that we personally don't like?" If it's the latter, be like Jesus, and love that person whether he/she has a large tattoo on their arm, wearing clothes you don't like, has a pieced tougue, etc.

Jesus replied, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Matthew 22:37-39

Some Advice

I just wanted to give some advice to those of you who don't know what to say to those of us that are going through tough times. I realize now, that before I was in the situation of having my husband lose his job, I was a bad friend. We have several friends who are in the same situation as us. I never knew what to do for them, what to say, or how to help. Now that I'm going through this, I've realized a few things. I've come up with a few things that I wish I would have known, but now now all too well.

1. DO NOT ask that person how they are doing. Times are hard, and most likely they aren't doing great. And unless you truly care how they are doing, and want to be there to listen, don't ask. And if you do ask, be prepared to hear the words, "Not good." and then follow up. Just a hello and/or a hug is great. Or let them know you are praying for them, but mean it if you say it.

2. DO NOT say, "let me know if there's anything I can do." There is LOTS that you can do, but most people aren't going to ask. So again, unless you truly mean that you want to help, don't say that either. (I've been the one saying this!) Instead, just do! When someone doesn't have an income, or much of one, there is lots you can do. There are groceries that need to be bought, bills that need to be paid, gas in vehicles, prayers that need to be prayed, even just a simple gesture of bringing a meal to the family, or every day products such as toilet paper, dish soup, laundry soap, etc. Gift cards are another great option. These are always welcome and help very much! Simple every day things are wonderful to those with little or no money to buy them. (PLEASE do not think I am writing to ask for these things, I'm just trying to explain that most people won't ask or don't know how to ask for help. It's a very humbling experience for those of us going through this and it means a lot for someone to take that extra step and just do, instead of just ask.) Prayers are huge! I AM asking for your prayers, for all of those people without jobs right now.

It's amazing to see that God's love shines through those that know Him and love Him. I thank all of our friends and family who have been there for us, with a hug, with a meal, etc. I can't imagine going through this without knowing God, and without amazing brothers and sisters in Christ.

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all
Psalm 34:17-19